What's that you say? You wish to fund me? Aw, shuks, thanks. See, I'm speechless. I have to resort to typing out my gratitude.

Wait, what? You don't want to fund me yet? What do you mean, you don't want to fund me yet?! Oh, what I'm going to do with the money? Well, er...

Well, many things actually. Basically, I'm thinking ahead to my life. If you had read my website carefully, you would have noticed that I want to be an author (BUSTED!). And most of you probably know that artists don't lead the best lives. I hope you didn't learn that the hard way...

So, if you decide to fund me, it would go a long way into my savings fund for a) college and b) life in general. A hundred dollars might pay for a week's worth of groceries later in the future. You'll be saving an innocent child from starvation!

I am also a member of the Grammar Nazi Society, and the money will support my campaign against word crimes.

Also, though it isn't as important, I want an army of rabid kittens and/or puppies armed with explosives and taking orders from me and only me. But that's expensive.


Oh. Crap. I forgot. I don't have a credit card yet. Dang!